Lately, Of All Sorts.

So I haven't really been blogging...I'm not really sure if it's because I've benn busy, or I'm just bein lazy, but the important thing is: I'm writing something now.

So lately...

It's the middle of my 2nd semester in college, and it has been very interesting to say the least. I'm doing a lot more than I was doing last semester, and my grades are pretty good. I think college gets more fun when you join an organization. It gives you something to do. I'm part of the Pre Professional Medical Society here at Frostburg, and I must say that my time is well spent because of it. So I advise people that are having a miserable time in college to just join something that interests you, you'll have a lot more fun that way. 

Since I have gotten to college, I think I have become a little more pragmatic and hard-working. I've always been the type to work hard (somewhat) in academics, but I find it a little easier to focus now. I am still the silly, sarcastic person that people know me to be. I've just become a little more...say...mature? I'm not really sure if that's the case, but anyway, I feel rather enlightened in some aspects of life.

I'm still kind of finding myself and my purpose on Earth. I like music a lot, but I don't think its something I can see myself doing long term. I know almost everything there is to know about music, however I get kinda biased on my genres...nonetheless, I love music. I plan to do a little bit of it in my spare time because I don't want to lose my musical abilities. I'm thinking of recording digital instrumentals. I already have a music page (that I made in 2006) and hopefully I can  put it to good use sometime this summer. I really don't have much time for it now.

As far as my friends are concerned, things really haven't changed; I'm still close to some of them. Others I don't talk to very often because of conflicting schedules, or  just laziness. There are certain people that I don't even bother calling at all anymore, because its just wasting my time and cell phone battery. But I won't get into that. 

I'm not as active as I was in high school, and it kind of pisses me off because I am so lazy now. All I want to do is sit around, and I hate that about myself. I have gained some weight, which really doesn't bother me...but its just the fact that I am so darn lazy and inactive. Maybe I should do something about it before it really starts affecting me.

Well, that's really all I have to say for right now, and I'll try to get some more things up here in the near future. 

-trip.

I sing.

my spirit knows me all too well 
i keep singing to myself 
i just don't know why 
yet i continue to try to figure out 
how i manage to overlook this damage in my mind, 
its amazing amazing to say the least 
i keep singing to myself 
to myself, and no one else 
i'm still singing to myself 
i don't know why i'm singing... 
and i can't stop... 
noo matter how much i try. 
i don't kno what i'm singing 
its not humming, 
its singing 
words are coming out of my mouth in song... 
i've never heard these words before. 
these words are coming out of no where.  
i'm still singing to myself with a blank stare 
i'm singing to myself 
...and i smile i wear  
i sing to myself, 
about my sights and visions that i once dreamed about 
secretly in my mind 
so many things are happening happening soo fast. 
they whip around me, 
faster than  the tail of a whip... 
shattering the sound barrier  
and then they slow down. 
i've come to a moderate pace  
i take life for what it is, 
i sing to myself to assure myself 
fortunate things to come 
hearing something that we'll continue to do 
the things you love will not be found... 
they will come to you.   
even if there is no high spirit or magical one 
we'll always know success points towards the sun  
i'm singing to myself myself...and no one else.  
not that that's bad   
i sing what i see, 
not necessarily sing but i speak in song 
to my own metronome 
i sing what i see 
i sing...for me.

elusive. inspired by inquistive beings....*

not really sure what exact my purpose is.

I have a really really split personality. i can't help it. I am, perhaps, insane. There are so many different sides of me, its ridiculous. There's the Tosin that doesn't want to be bothered. Then theres the one that is loud, obnoxious, and entertaining. i also have a philosophical and pugnacious side to me. Then theres the side that zones out, and doesn't pay attention to anything or anyone else. Theres the funny me. The rude me. The pissed off me. [thats when you hear the northern accent]. And then there's the last one...the shy, quiet, and harmless Tosin. I am a strange specimen. I have very violent and/or disturbing thoughts. Unlike the average teenage mind, my brain is mainly occupied with the surreal and the unbelievable. Weirdly, I don't spend too much time thinking about the opposite gender unless something reminds me. I don't really find obsessing over guys interesting. I don't chase people. I've been told that I show a keen uninterest for romanticness. Its true, not completely true, though. I'm only human. But I just never seem to be even remotely interested in anything I come across, so I don't even bother. However, I'm not naive to life experience, I have had my shares. But unlike the average girl my age, I find it unnecessary to share them with the rest of the world. There are many things that people don't know, and never will know about me.

and I'm completely fine with that. 

Another factor to my lack of interest is the fact that I seem to only attract idiots.

Its very very irritating. I attract the stalkerish, cool-at-first-but-really-fucking-annyoing-in-the-end kind of people. People that I'm interested in don't seem to exist yet. Considering most of the people that I have even "talked" to live in my old city, which I still visit very often, i just don't care. And the one person who wasn't a resident of the NY metro area, was like one of the most clingy and obsessive people i have ever encountered in my life. i'd rather not think about it...I throw up a little when I think about it.

My point is..Its just not for me, at least not at this point in my life. I'm way too focused on my studies to even care for the opposite gender past the friendship level. There are people who i think should just stop it...and give up. I don't see you any different than I see everyone else. Even though, again, I'm only human..there are people who seem a little more appealing than others for whatever reason, but for the most part, i don't specialize. i favor some over others. But i don't like when people get the wrong impression. 

I have a certain friend who jumps to conclusions. Every guy that I utter even the slightest word to...must be my interest of some sort. Just becuase she fucks everybody she meets doesn't mean everyone else does. I can't fucking studying with a male without having something for him? So I just don't answer certain people's phone calls when I'm not in my room. Unless its one of two people. Its annoying. 

Maybe this is a clearer clarification [redundant, yes?] of my viewpoints on romantics and significant settings.

FSU Sightings Vol. 1

College is an experience that only the fortunate ones get to experience. It gives people an opportunity increase their knowledge in order to have a potentially lucrative career in the future. In college, you learn new things, experience new...uh...experiences and meet new people. Sometimes college gets boring too. Like, me, for instance, I get bored very easily. But I supress it. I supress it by taking note of the things I see in this place. I have seen some horrible looking things, and fashions, and just...things. Its crazy. You can tell, I must be bored to even take the time to pay so much attention. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you, Frostburg State University. [pictures taken with my Palm® Treo 755p; and Morgan's Sidekick LX]

**This is really only for my/others personal amusement. If for some strange reason you found yourself on here somehow...oops. I just advise that you don't repeat the crime. Getting angry only inspires me to make you look more like a fool.**

Ok, here we go...

I spotted these loafers on the shuttle bus. They were much uglier in person. I just don't understand why they would even sell these things in the stores. Its kinda sad.

I took this picture because her entire appearance was very scary. I didn't get a really good picture because I had to do it without looking entirely suspicious. Her teeth kind of frightened me but much to my amusement, she tripped really hard down the stairs right after I took the pic. Nice.

Why? Is this cute? I don't care if they're PJs or not.

This tramp has the audacity to look like this every day. Actually she looks very tame in the picture compared to other days.

Wow. What the fuck.

This is another multiple offender. Every day in fact. (we're looking at the skirt by the way...)

I don't get it.

Umm....excuse me? What is this? Dandy, my friend.

Try not to throw up. That is one of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen. Lets look again.

Why is she standing like that?

Somebody needs to buy this guy some new shoes. His Barkleys are crying for help. They were very dirty, and in horrible condition. They didn't even touch the ground in the front; they were all turned up. Again...

Poor child.

Excuse me sir. What the fuck is this that you have on here? Is this for real? I don't see why anyone would have shorts that color anyway. And check out the socks.

You know, he might have been a little under 45 years old. With a flame shirt and boots on. Very cool.

Look. This is the campus bookstore. And there is a pack of fake hair. Why would anyone buy fake hair from there? It was very low quality also.

Oh lord. I just don't understand.

A condom was strung over the rail with something in it....

Very classy.

LMAOOOOOOOOO...

Where was she going? Dressed like that?

---The things we see are not limited to the things I have posted here, but its just the gist of it. The last few pictures are courtesy of morgan, partner in crime....[emjayoath.blogspot.com]

Okay...other times...

obstacle course.

Life is a huge obstacle course. When a person is born, they are a person clear of any guilts, innocent in their entirety. Its like when an athlete is about to start an obstacle course, and they have a clean slate and haven't messed up. As you grow into a toddler, you're still full of energy. The race still feels good. Your lungs breathe the clear air and you're smooth saling. Then as you grow into a child, things don't always go your way, but you're fine in the long run. Its like hitting the first obstacle. Its not too hard...at least until you're a teenager. The obstacles start getting more and more difficult to overcome. You get cut up and bruised in the the process. You're in extreme stress and pain. But then, as you get used to these harder obstacles and it becomes more and more consistant. You get relieved every one in a while...when you get water breaks...or life's rewards. Also sometimes you fall in the dirt...or life's pitfalls. But you keep running continously. Your body is telling you to give up...but your brain continues to look straight ahead. Nobody wants the race to end, but we still all hope to win. Then, finally...the time comes slower...the finish line looks much closer than it did before. As you remember all the obstacles in the obstacles in the obstacle course...you cross the finish line, and if you're Christian, when you cross your finish line...we all hope for the reward...the medal...the admission ticket to heaven.

Paradise.

"Paradise"

Paradise, a place where joy resides
where theres no stress,no mess
nothing but spiritful minds
Where nothing is promised but happiness
And every hard-working person is entitled to a good rest
No stress no mess
Worry-free the world would be
Without cares the world would see
The precious bliss and whats left of humanity
And when you put two concepts to the test
the one with the biggest heart will do the best
hence,  no stress, no mess.
I'd live without a care in the world
i'd be blazen with diamonds and pearls
Jewels and rings
Money won't be a thing
Surrounded by love and glory
'Happily ever after' would conclude this story
There'd be no devastation, no poverty, no prejudice
No murder no war
"Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'"
The sky is the limit, the limit we would reach
And the hypocrites would practice what they preach
Kids wouldn't have to ask,"Why, Mama?"
Because there wouldn't be any drama.
Still dreamin
I'd notice how beautiful everything is seeming
How bright the sun is gleaming
And how wonderful life is
And how taken for granted time is
Until now, this never made sense to me
I know now, you are your worst enemy

Yeah, It would be nice...
Too bad it only happens in Paradise.