not really sure what exact my purpose is.
I have a really really split personality. i can't help it. I am, perhaps, insane. There are so many different sides of me, its ridiculous. There's the Tosin that doesn't want to be bothered. Then theres the one that is loud, obnoxious, and entertaining. i also have a philosophical and pugnacious side to me. Then theres the side that zones out, and doesn't pay attention to anything or anyone else. Theres the funny me. The rude me. The pissed off me. [thats when you hear the northern accent]. And then there's the last one...the shy, quiet, and harmless Tosin. I am a strange specimen. I have very violent and/or disturbing thoughts. Unlike the average teenage mind, my brain is mainly occupied with the surreal and the unbelievable. Weirdly, I don't spend too much time thinking about the opposite gender unless something reminds me. I don't really find obsessing over guys interesting. I don't chase people. I've been told that I show a keen uninterest for romanticness. Its true, not completely true, though. I'm only human. But I just never seem to be even remotely interested in anything I come across, so I don't even bother. However, I'm not naive to life experience, I have had my shares. But unlike the average girl my age, I find it unnecessary to share them with the rest of the world. There are many things that people don't know, and never will know about me.
and I'm completely fine with that.
Another factor to my lack of interest is the fact that I seem to only attract idiots.
Its very very irritating. I attract the stalkerish, cool-at-first-but-really-fucking-annyoing-in-the-end kind of people. People that I'm interested in don't seem to exist yet. Considering most of the people that I have even "talked" to live in my old city, which I still visit very often, i just don't care. And the one person who wasn't a resident of the NY metro area, was like one of the most clingy and obsessive people i have ever encountered in my life. i'd rather not think about it...I throw up a little when I think about it.
My point is..Its just not for me, at least not at this point in my life. I'm way too focused on my studies to even care for the opposite gender past the friendship level. There are people who i think should just stop it...and give up. I don't see you any different than I see everyone else. Even though, again, I'm only human..there are people who seem a little more appealing than others for whatever reason, but for the most part, i don't specialize. i favor some over others. But i don't like when people get the wrong impression.
I have a certain friend who jumps to conclusions. Every guy that I utter even the slightest word to...must be my interest of some sort. Just becuase she fucks everybody she meets doesn't mean everyone else does. I can't fucking studying with a male without having something for him? So I just don't answer certain people's phone calls when I'm not in my room. Unless its one of two people. Its annoying.
Maybe this is a clearer clarification [redundant, yes?] of my viewpoints on romantics and significant settings.
