As far as religion is concerned, many people don't know where I stand, or what I believe because I usually brush off the topic, and I never talk about it.
I'm not a very religious person. I grew up in a Nigerian Christian family. We didn't go to church that much, but a majority of my childhood I do remember being at church. I never really cared what I was going to church for, I just wanted to see my friends there. And I got to dress up real nice. I had no interest in what was going on in Sunday School. I think the only reason I paid attention was so that when Aunty Esther (the SS teacher) called on me, I could answer the question and not get slapped. In my family's culture, you are allowed to be slapped when you deserve it. No matter who the person is. Aunt, Uncle, parent's friend, etc. That woman was tough, and her pinches and hits HURT.
Anywho, like most children, I didn't really understand the purpose of religion, I just went along with it. I did believe in Jesus and all the stories that I read in the Bible. It was just a part of life to me. Then, we moved, and church was too far to travel to anymore. we stopped going for years. I still believed in God and such, but I was never passionate about Him. My godmother enrolled me into a program called AWANA (Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed). We had to recite verses from out handbooks and get signatures on them. when we got to a certain point, we would advance to a new level. It was kind of like Boy/Girl Scouts. We had uniforms with ranks on them and everything. I completed a pretty good rank. I was very interested in the AWANA Olympics, I got a medal every year i went. It was a series of races and obstacle courses. It was a lot of fun.
I turned 13, and had to go join JV (Junior Varsity). They don't do any of the fun stuff that the kids did. we sat in a room and listened to someone drone on and on in the front of the room. I thought, "Fuck this" and stopped going. I did still have some faith in God. it wasn't until my 10th grade year that i started questioning God's validity. I became interested in knowing about other religions. I didn't really understand how so many religions can co-exist. So I started thinking, "Well, one of them must be the right one. but which one?" I'd never convert to any other religion. I started to think...maybe there isn't really such thing as a higher God. I thought it was all a system that was designed to create morals and ethics for mankind. I became Agnostic, constantly questioning things about religion and what really happens when a person dies. I had less faith in myself, and started to not care about anything at all. In my 11th grade year, my aunt started taking me to Jesus House Baltimore with her. I really did not want to go. I hated waking up in the morning knowing that I was about to sit in a church for 3 hours or more. But something was different. Even though I was probably thinking everything that the Pastor was saying was staged and hogwash, he was very interesting to listen to. He had a sense of humor, and seemed to have a way with words. I didn't mind listening to his sermons. It was also a very nice church. The members were very involved. i also noticed the non-secular nature of the church. People of any Christian denomination can attend the church. The church had flags of many different countries on its walls. It was a predominantly Nigerian church, like I was used to, but people of other ethnicities and nationalities also came to join them. It was so cool how that church was so dynamic in attracting members. I started to lighten up. Then, I no longer had time to go, which was okay, because that church made me realize how a common interest can bring so many people together. There are people that are married to people they met at that church. Babies get christened there. And the way my Nigerians rejoice is just so amazing.
So months later, after I graduated from high school, my mom came across the pastor of the church I attended when I was younger. He had left the Parish that he used to preach for, and was now starting a new church. We went there one sunday. That church was a single room with about 5 members, not including my mother, brothers and I. They forced me to start coming to choir practice. I HATED IT. I know that they could tell that I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to sing for them. the only time that i ever sing is when I'm playing my piano. I stayed with them for one sunday. I couldn't wait to get home. I told my mother that I didn't want to go anymore. She understood, because they were very persistent people. If you didn't come to church one day, THEY WILL CALL YOU. So it came to the time that I was preparing to leave for college. They came to my going away party. That was the last time I ever saw them. i was so glad that i didn't have to go there anymore. Nothing against them, it just isn't my thing.
So I guess I can say I've come to terms with myself. I don't classify myself as being under any denomination of Christianity. i'm not devoutly religious. I still do believe in God. I'm just not the same as everyone else.
So this is my message. Follow what YOU believe in, you'll have a lot more fun in life.
